Warning: Zombies Ahead

Guurrgh....uuurgh...brrraiiins.... sllluurp.

Translation: Angela is in Idaho, amassing a zombie horde for world domination vacationing with her family. Normal Thesaurus posts will be suspended until her return August 16th.

Lucky for you, she's left a few of her favorite lieutenant zombies in charge, and our first official act is to announce a little contest. We think you'll like it.

First Annual Zombie Haiku Contest

Oh yes--you read correctly. Sure, Zombies eat brains. But don't we also have an inner soul, a burning desire to unleash pent up emotions in the form of, erm...poetry?

Let's face it--Zombies? Poetry? Someone needed to go there. Angela is that person. The question is, are you up to the challenge? Can you get in touch of your inner Zombie and make Angela tear up or better yet, laugh out loud? We hope so, because you could win an in depth first chapter critique.

This is quite possibly the most awesome contest on the web. In fact, we wouldn't be surprised at all if the talent rolling in is so gut-spittingly awesome that more than one critique will have to be awarded.

So for the Haiku challenged, the format is scary simple: 5 syllables, 7 syllables, 5 syllables. Like so:

Hungry moans outside
Fingers scrabble at the door
Time to get the axe

Look, the ice cream man
Only has one flavor left
What's Head Cheese Surprise?

My silent boyfriend
We hold hands in the moonlight
Likes me for my brain

Is there a Zombie Epic inside you, longing to burst out? Set it free and post your haiku in your comment section! The contest will run until Angela returns, dead or alive. Followers can enter as many zombie haikus as they like.

For extra chances to win, post a link to this contest on your blog and let me know in the comments section where you spread the word. Each time you post a link to this contest you'll earn an additional chance to win a bonus critique!

So, what are you waiting for? Let's see some poetry, people!

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Yunaleska said...

Cool comp! Merc will love this.

Iapetus999 said...

Zombies in Moonlight
Sucking brains on Scottish Moors
Silent save slurping

Mary Witzl said...

Oh man, I am so in!!

Maggot flavored flesh
Purple-bruised like hanging grapes
Love my morning snack.

I'll be back with more asap -- have to make a birthday cake...

PJ Hoover said...

Zombies are a pain
They stink. They smell. They won't die.
Kick-ass weapons kill.

Mary Witzl said...

Starlight on tombstones
Deep beneath the frozen ground
Lies my breakfast

Smell of sweet decay
Leaf mold rotting, stinking moss --
Mornings are the best!

Wish I could improve on your last one, but I just don't think it's possible.

Iapetus999 said...

Salivating drones
Dripping blood from their palates

Robyn Campbell said...

Cool contest Angela's zombie lieutenant. What's your real name, huh? I will post a link to this contest on my blog, but Haiku? *SHIVERS* I'll leave that up to the zombie Haiku poets out there. :)

Tricia J. O'Brien said...

Too cool! I shall link such coolness (http://triciajobrien.blogspot.com)
and throw two in.

Dangling strips of skin
Above gaping maws, they supped
From surface to core.

My darlings, my dears,
Bring me back a nice spoonful
Of brains for our tea.

MG Higgins said...

Please, the scrabbling cease!
Through my door you will not find
A brain omelet.

Jessica said...

LOL! There's no zombie haikus in me but have fun! :-)

Tricia J. O'Brien said...

I'm such a sucker! More zombie haiku spewing forth. I promise to stop after these.

Along the old road
Not a soul--only echoes
Of shuffling footsteps

Wrapping moist innards
In bamboo leaves, she pauses
To lick her fingers

Iapetus999 said...

Oh you Zombie Fiend
With your disfunctional brain
Will nothing stop you?

Iapetus999 said...

Into mounds of rotting phlegm
He still devours braaaainnns.

Susan York Meyers said...

Blood all slurped and gone
Our brains mushed and eyeballs popped
Zombie dinner time

Teri K said...

I don't think I'm up to Zombies right now, but I may try one. I did put a link on my blog, and will mention it in today's post. I have a daughter-in-law who is perfect for this. I heard about the contest from Putting Pen to Paper. Thanks for the fun idea.

Teri K said...

On a non-related topic -- How did you get the date slot to move above the post title? I've been asking for several days and no one seems to know. I'd like to know how you changed the color, too. Mine refuses to change.
If you could drop me a quick note when you have time, I'll let you have first go the next time the zombies show up in my closet. (That's why it's such a mess, you know. They hang out in there when they have nothing better to do.)
Thanks very much.

TaKat said...

I dunno if this is allowed, but I'm creating a longer poem composed of individual haiku:

Young girl in the dark
Face hidden by too-long hair
Skin just a tad pale

Eyes following her
A shadow slips from behind
Tongue draws across lips

Girl picks up her pace
Man laughs and begins the chase
They run in the dark

Streetlights left behind
Up the alleyway they go
No one else around

Suddenly she stops
He hesitates and steps back...
...He's not the zombie

Slash! Smash! Rip and Tear!
Too bad he didn't notice
Maggots in her hair

Writing away about my latest 3 week adventure through China at http://katacomb.blogspot.com

C.R. Evers said...

LOL! :0)

I'm too tired now
for my own Zombie Hiaku.
Will write one later.

Oh snap! I crapped out a haiku! :0) I must be a natural.

Gayle C. Krause said...

Thought I'd go with a multicultural Zombie. This was fun.

Caribbean ghost
sways to the Soca rhythms
in the Jumbie Dance.

I have linked your blog to mine.


colbymarshall said...

I'm going to have to come back to this after lunch, lol

BeingMe said...

What a topic but you're never too old to try anything new..

Wake, wake up you dead
Walk this night, among headstones
Task to scare away

Wilting smelly skins
Go seek out fresh flesh alive
Suck away essence

Mary Witzl said...

(I live with blondes, so I figure I can get away with combining a zombie haiku and a joke.)

Sad zombie faces
Bellies won't be filled tonight
In a house of blondes

Christina Farley said...

Oh my! I'm not sure I'm up to thinking anything other than unpacking these last few boxes but it's sure fun reading everyone else's responses!

Marian said...

Cool, I've never tried writing a haiku before.

Digs a shallow grave,
All that's buried must arise.
In cold hands, house keys.

Beth said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Hazardgal said...

Fridays were meant for fun and you have just been anointed with the Kreativ Blogger Award. If you are already a recipient, please pass this one to someone you know. My good friend Kelli Haywood passed this award my way. You are my choice because of the way you inspire me and color the online world. Read the rules on my blog… Enjoy the accolades!

Jacqui said...

I love these!! Here's mine:

My Zombie House at Dinner Time

What you want dinner?
Dunno. What you want dinner?
Delivery man!

Hello? Pizza House?
Send pizza. And pizza guy.
Ding dong. Nom nom. Burp.

That delicious, but
me need little something sweet.
Neighbors for dessert?

And I'll link to your contest Saturday over in Jacqui's Room.

Dalbir said...

His melting arm knocks.
Her grave lifts and he groans, "Date?"
She devours him.

The last time I wrote a haiku was about three years ago. Lots of goodies on this site - I love it.

Angela said...


Lori Degman said...

It's all-you-can-eat
At the graveyard smorgasbord
Just one more helping

Thanks - this was fun!

Angela said...

Seriously, I am overwhelmed at your Zombie awesomeness! How will I ever choose winners?

These are all FANTABULOUS!!!

Yunaleska said...

Munch. Crunch. Tasty braiiinzzz.
Buffet needed? Head to school.
Enlarged brainzzzz abound.

Azomb B


SB said...

Saw this on the Blue Board and couldn't resist popping over to read. Here's mine:

The Undead Gastronome's Lament

Brains are nice, but in
time they do get old. I ask,
why not quiche tonight?

Beth said...

(I entered before, but took it down to submit it to a 'zine. Sorry.)

When Zombies sleep do
They count brains instead of sheep?
Midnight snack is... me?!?!

Kelly said...


Please let me help you.
Can I give you a hand? Oops.
Still got my left one!

Larissa said...

Dreaming. Zombies eat.
All my fingers are missing.
Will this nightmare end?

Gross zombies eat brains
Why do they pass my brother?
It sucks to be smart.

Linking to my blog: www.lchardesty.blogspot.com
Thanks! :)

Larissa said...

Body parts falling off.
How will I move without legs?
Can I borrow yours?

Dripping flesh is gross.
Rotting skin. Maggots. Vomit.
The stench is awful.


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